I feel bad for not keeping up with this blog better, but writing takes effort and I’m tired all the time these days, so I just have to cut my losses sometimes. Ah well…
If you’re following B’s blog, you know that we got the results of his PET scan today and that things are looking good. This is hugely encouraging/ reassuring. B posted pictures of the CT scan images, and I wish that he could have posted pics of the PET images too; they were really quite dramatic, even more so than the CT pics.
While it was nice to get the good news this morning, the enjoyment was short lived. The chemo treatments are hitting harder and harder these days, with the effects kicking in faster after each treatment (B was looking ill less than an hour into the treatment today; he usually doesn’t start feeling bad until after we get home from the hospital), and the nausea and fatigue seem to be hanging on longer and longer each time as well. The cycle is getting to be pretty tiring for both of us. On B’s bad days, his energy is sapped from the side effects, and all of my energy gets spent taking care of him and managing life without his assistance. On his good days, we both feel a lot of pressure to make the most of the short time that we have until he starts feeling bad again. Energy rationing is definitely trickier than usual, with imbalances causing greater disturbances than they normally would. But all in all, I think we’re managing rather well. Thank god we don’t have kids or super demanding jobs or anything like that. We are fortunate to have the option to just let some things slide for a while when we’re all out of steam. But so much for the long walking/ hiking/ biking trips I was dreaming of earlier this summer. I get tired just thinking about that stuff now. I reckon we’ll be active and traveling again one day, but I don’t even daydream about it much right now.
On another note, my birthday is later this week. I’ll be twenty-five. Oddly, it’s the first birthday in recent memory that I’m not sort of dreading. I guess I have bigger fish to fry this year, heh heh. I’ll be working probably ten or eleven hours that day and it’s extremely likely that B won’t be feeling good, so we’re not really planning to do anything particularly celebratory, but I don’t really mind. If we could somehow be magically transported to a hammock in Hawaii for a day, that would be great. But seeing as that can’t happen, I’ll be perfectly happy if B is feeling good enough so that I can get some nice birthday snuggles in at the end of the day.